“I have this thing inside me. It’s like an angry little biker chick cross-bred with a teeny tiny little toddler. She throws a tantrum when she doesn’t get what she wants and will beat the crap out of anyone who tells her what to do. I call her Sheila. Sheila would like me to do something amazing with my life. She’s allergic to cubicle wall fuzz and will kick my ass if I ever give in.”